Click on a thumbnail picture below to see the full size version. 45 Entries. Friday, February 14 View Page Happy Valentine's Day - My pumpkin now has a hole into the cavity...   Friday, April 17 View Page El Bandito del Calabazas - I was headed to Sardini Italy this summer to sail around the island in a small boat. Now it appears I’ll be propagating giant pandemic pumpkins…   Friday, April 17 View Page Spring Sprout - When they start poppin’ out of the patch like this, I figure it must be plantin’ time...   Friday, April 17 View Page Weeds Be Gone - The patch is overgrown with weeds and such. Gotta hack and wack some real estate for the pumpkin sprouts...   Saturday, April 25 View Page Double Dig – What goes down must go up. I always like to do a double dig in the planting area. This year 10 ft by 20 ft was double dug in phases...   Saturday, April 25 View Page Buried Bones - Along with some oyster shell, compost and other goodies were tossed into the trench, tilled in deeply and the topsoil replaced...   Wednesday, April 29 View Page Pandemic Poppies – I’m seeing red as the great poppy pandemic propagates around my house...   Wednesday, April 29 View Page Pumpkin Plop – My two pumpkin sprouts plopped down in the middle of the patch today. On the left, 1191 Urena and the two on the right, 1211 Ailts - lookin’ for a bit of color in the fall...   Sunday, May 10 View Page Half Moon Bay Weighs In – Bring your pandemic pumpkins to HMB for proper weighing and measure. The organizers announced that they intend to weigh - with all due deference to bugs and bureaucrats. The saga continues on October 12, 2020 in HMB. Pictured: Leonardo Urena and his 2175...   Tuesday, May 12 View Page Carnage in the Poppies – I started clearing the poppy jungle in the patch. So far, I’ve found a ground squirrel hole, a gopher mound and extensive tunneling by one or more moles. Poppy fields make great habitats for some of our small furry friends...   Tuesday, May 12 View Page The Eyes of Moai – Gazing into the heavens above are the Eyes of Moai. The right eye, 1211 Ailts. The left eye, 1911 Urena. Swimming in a black sea of compost, they peer into infinite bliss...   Friday, May 22 View Page The Hammer and the Dance – I’ll let you guess which one is the 1911 Urena and which is the 1211 Ailts. First crush it with the hammer, then dance away with nimble feet and arms held high above the head...   Thursday, June 4 View Page 96 Degrees in the Shade – Heat wave boiling the last few days. The girls put up their parasols and are fanning themselves with their big leaves to stay cool. They asked for lemonade and ice but I give them an occasional cold shower instead...   Tuesday, June 16 View Page Bipolar Spring – The patch is being whipsawed between alternating heat waves followed by days of blustery cold gusts. Blustery today with a three day heat spell to follow in the forecast. The girls had me setup their sunscreens as wind breaks. They’ll be clamoring to duck under them tomorrow in the heat. Of course I’ll oblige. When the girls are happy, I’m happy...   Saturday, June 20 View Page Solstice Showers – Nothing like a cold shower on the first day of summer. Low eighties today with a light breeze from the ocean. Both plants have females on the main due to open tomorrow on Father’s Day. I’m gonna be a dad. Life is good...   Thursday, June 25 View Page Holy Moly! - Bad stuff can happen if you stick your nose into someone else's business...   Thursday, June 25 View Page Pork Out Potential – Spent the morning with the girls burying vines, watering and setting up shade structures over the vine tips. The 1911 Urena is now massive and growing quickly. There is a little lady 20 feet out (under the white bridal veil.) She has plenty of lettuce behind her so the full bounty of her curves depends on how much she cares to indulge...   Thursday, June 25 View Page The Umbrella Effect – Shading the vine tips during hot weather not only reduces leaf burn on the young leaves but also takes a lot of stress off the entire plant during the long hot afternoons. The mature leaves in full sun don’t flag as much and stay healthier long term. I don’t know if this makes for bigger pumpkins but the plants are prettier and a lot happier...   Sunday, June 28 View Page Hammer Time! – Pollinated a perfect 5 lobe female 20 feet out on the 1911 Urena this morning. I decided to self this keeper because of the plant’s aggressive perfection. Hope to produce the most perfect pandemic protest pumpkin on the planet...   Tuesday, July 14 View Page The Unbearable Lightness of Being – Anna Pandamit is my little dancer. She’s climbed a pole some 3 feet above the patch now and likes to wear stylish hats. A selfed 1211 Ailts, she’s light on her feet and likes to boogie woogie. Good thing she’s tethered to the planet or she might just tango away...   Tuesday, July 14 View Page My Lady – Anna Pandamit (1211 Ailts) and her large entourage of loyal leaves...   Saturday, July 18 View Page Peter Pandemonium – My 1911 Urena has turned long, low and lumpy. This pumpkin appears to be protesting just about everything under the sun including symmetry, style and size. Only 60” circ. at day 20, I’ve dubbed him Peter Pandemonium the Petite. At 20 days, the smallest and the most cantankerous pumpkin I’ve ever grown...   Saturday, July 18 View Page Behind the Green Bucket – Anna Pandamit has ducked into a green bucket. We’re not talking about what is going on in there. Some things are best left unsaid...   Wednesday, July 22 View Page Bucket Piqué – Anna Pandamit has slipped out of the bucket and assumed an en pointe position for the remainder of her dance. Her pirouettes are a bit clumsy but her form is sublime...   Monday, July 27 View Page Redundant Remonstrations – My petite protest pumpkin Peter Pandemonium hit a pathetic 106.5 circ. at day 30. Peter strives to be politically correct in his protestations, so he stays protectively masked and socially distanced at all times. Today he is protesting the persistence of the protesters. Methinks thou doth protest too much, he says...   Monday, July 27 View Page Mystical Twinklings – You can almost hear the fairies as they flit among the flowers where Anna Pandamit works on her glutes. She’s been doing strength training to improve her loft...   Wednesday, July 29 View Page Charge of the Scarlet Runners – The living temple dedicated to the pumpkin gods is filling out nicely. Hopefully, they will bestow many blessings on Anna and Peter...   Wednesday, August 5 View Page Rumble in the Jungle – Taping 200 pounds at day 26, Anna Pandamit doesn’t like sitting around. A little too big for ballet, she’s now into the monster mash and less subtle forms of modern dance...   Monday, August 10 View Page Weird Science – Ok, not much science here but it is weird. All the vine tips on my 1211 Ailts plant decided to grow straight up and no longer kneel in homage to the pumpkin gods. I’ve had to lasso and tie them down to restrain their flight path. Rope a dope...   Monday, August 10 View Page Chin Up – Peter Pandemonium is developing a jaw line like I’ve never seen before. The large hump under his snoz acts like an anchor in the sand forcing him to grow into the vine. Taping just over 500lbs on day 40, he’s going nowhere fast. Like a ship without a rudder he’s running aground...   Tuesday, August 11 View Page Princess Diaries – Anna Pandamit taped just over 250 lbs. on day 30 and is running at 20 pounds a day. She’s looking for Cindy now and wants to take her for a ride...   Tuesday, August 11 View Page Mystic Temple – The living temple to the pumpkin gods is now rising toward the heavens on a bolt of scarlet. Anna Pandamit dances nude behind the temple working on her tan...   Monday, August 17 View Page Thor’s Blasphemy – Last night winds raged and the heavens shook with the clap of Thor’s hammer. The temple to the pumpkin gods was flattened, leaving Anna Pandamit flashing full frontal nudity to the street. I’ve repaired about half of the temple so far. The pumpkin gods are not pleased...   Monday, August 17 View Page Peter Poops Out – Day 50 numbers for Peter Pandemonium add up to a miserly 330 OTT. Mr. Poopy Pants pretends to be more profound by making points protesting rather than doing anything useful...   Thursday, August 20 View Page Orange Blush – Anna Pandamit measures just under 500 pounds on day 40. Her nude sunbathing has helped deepen her orange tan and bring out her Cali spots. Of course she’s outgrowing the platform she sits on and I don’t have a plan...   Thursday, August 27 View Page Great Balls of Fire – Anna Pandamit is at 316” OTT on day 50 or 727 lbs. on the 2018 chart. She tapes over 13 feet in diameter and is now expressing a more reddish tone. I hope she slows down soon. I’m starting to worry about gettin’ her into my truck...   Thursday, August 27 View Page Grounded – I sent Anna’s little sister to her room for misbehaving. She’s kinda wild and rambunctious and thinks I’m square. I’m gonna teach her a lesson...   Monday, September 7 View Page Pompous Pounds - Peter Pandemonium continues to add a few pounds on day 70. Not sure why. It’s only a distraction from his overall insignificance at 361 OTT. His persistent pretentious protesting makes him feel a bit bigger than he is I guess…   Monday, September 7 View Page Moulin Rouge – Anna Pandamit measures a voluptuous 14’ in diameter at 60 days. Taping 331 OTT or 833 lbs. She’s exceeded her prime dancing weight and overhanging her dance floor as well. Luckily her little sister on a side vine is now helping slow down her tango...   Monday, September 7 View Page Tight Quarters – Meet Anna’s little sister Cindy Cubit. She likes it up close and personal. Who says you can’t put a round peg in a square hole???   Wednesday, September 9 View Page Fandamit – The last few days of 100 plus heat has created a host of problems in the patch. Leaves are stir fried and rot has set in on both stumps and Anna Pandamit’s stem. Anna also took a half dozen squirrel bits on her big ripe butt while she was covered. I was just wondering – Why do people grow giant pumpkins???   Monday, September 21 View Page ER Story – Anna Pandamit has been in intensive care since she was infected with Covid stem rot. I had to remove her umbilical cord, scrape out the entire perimeter of her stem and put her on a ventilator. At this point, I’m not sure if she’s gonna make a weigh-off or become another pandemic statistic...   Thursday, September 24 View Page The Picture Tells the Story – A mole tunneling under Peter Pandemonium must have punctured his pancreas. Now he’s puking his guts out. He taped 370 OTT and weighed 1,236 lbs on my in-line scale. Perfect way to perish for a piss-ant, poopy pumpkin...   Thursday, September 24 View Page Cindy Cubic Cooked – Cindy Cubic was quickly filling her box until a heat wave hit several weeks ago. When the solar flare subsided she stopped growing up and then after a week started growing down. Bad sign. Looks like Cindy got cooked and croaked in her crock...   Saturday, September 26 View Page Anna Pandamit Lies in State – Sometimes there’s no justice in this world...